I'm currently reading The Siren's Call by Chris Hayes (of MSNBC fame - no relation, unfortunately).
In his book, Hayes examines the Attention Economy and how attention has become the currency of the modern world. How we trade in attention and convert that to economic gain (or loss), and what that means for us as human beings in the world and as participants in global economics.
To explain how we got here, Chris dives into the psychology of attention and why it means so much to us. He also examines why there are so many patterns of addiction, abuse and behaviours that stem from the meaning we have created around attention.
It's a fascinating read, articulated in Chris' unique and pointed style, and it should provoke much introspection and examination from those who can... well, pay attention long enough to read it.
Why does this matter to you?
Because you want to sell things.
Most people overcomplicate selling, and try to build all these systems and scripts with the hope that somehow that will impact their conversions and draw hundreds of clients into their midst.
They get caught in all of the prescriptive approaches to marketing and selling, and wring their hands over their copy or their ads or their funnels, wondering whether this is the right approach or if they should try another.
I want to bring you back to one fundamental truth that might simplify - or at least clarify - your selling:
Everyone is seeking attention.
Not in a narcissistic, "look at me!" kind of way (I see you, introverts), but in a fundamental need to be seen and known. It is our greatest need and desire, and #science has proven that.
But, as Chris points out in his book, it's more complex than that.
Attention is not enough.
Attention is the manifestation of being seen.
Recognition is the manifestation of being known.
This is an important distinction and one that will help you in selling.
Attention is what we seek as a quick hit, but it doesn't actually create an emotional connection.
This is why a celebrity who stands in front of a whole stadium that's cheering does not feel satiated by this attention. What actually makes us feel fulfilled is recognition, which can only come from feeling known.
It's why some people get addicted to deep, emotional relationships... even if they don't have a desire for intimacy with those people. Because a constant stream of recognition makes them feel fulfilled, validated and known.
Bringing this back to your business...
If you understand that your potential clients (who are, I assume, human beings) make buying decisions when they feel an emotional connection,
and...
If you understand that your clients feel an emotional connection when they experience recognition, that should drive how you sell.
Recognition comes from feeling known.
I remember the first coach I ever hired, I hired because she reached out to me after I subscribed to her email list and sent me a personal note expressing her appreciation for me joining her list. In her note she referenced some specific things about my business that demonstrated that she had very intentionally gone to my website, learned about me, and commented on some of the things I had expressed in my posts and in my copy.
She made me feel known.
And that's the number one thing I value most from someone who is going to support me in my business.
So how do you ensure your potential clients feel known, even if you don't have many/any touch points with them yet?
Well, there are likely many creative strategies you can probably dream up based on your particular business/services, and your particular customers and their particular journeys to working with you.
But here are a few suggestions:
Personal outreach. Whenever you first become connected, like the coach did with me above, just reach out. Take a minute to learn about them. Get super curious about who's taking an interest in you. Who are they? What do they seem interested in? Do you have anything in common? Send them a little note of thanks. Let them know you took an interest in them, got to know them. Even if you haven't yet been connected, make sure to build some type of knowing into cold outreach.
Write to a muse. When you're creating content, write to someone specific - a person you know well. Imagine that exact person is on the receiving end of your creative work. Speak specifically to what you know about that individual, their specific stories. You will be surprised at how often the right people you're trying to reach will respond and say "It's like you were speaking directly to me".
Ask questions. Part of the process of knowing is learning. When you open yourself to learning, and ask your audience about themselves, they feel known. This is particularly true in sales calls. I never start a sales call with a script - I always open by asking them to tell me everything. Not only does this help us know each other but it gives me critical information on how to postion our work together. Let them tell their stories - you don't always have to tell yours.
Shared experience. This one is so undervalued as a marketing and sales tactic, but so incredibly effective. In relationships with others, one of the fastest ways to create a bond is to have a shared experience. That's why people who have been white water rafting together, or went through a spiritual healing journey together create bonds. They experienced something together and have a common language and common understanding of that unique transformation they went through, that no one else can know. How can you create shared experiences in your marketing activities?
It's not enough just to capture attention... you need to go a layer deeper and connect, create recognition and relationship where your potential clients feel like you know them and understand them.
I'd love to hear your ideas and strategies! How will you build recognition and relationship with your clients?
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